If you get to know the benefits of self-love, you would like to treat yourself differently from now onwards. Most of us believe that we will progress more in life if we are critical towards ourselves. The truth is, we should be honest about ourselves , our weaknesses and mistakes but not critical. You can improve when you accept yourself fully. To accept ourselves fully we need one necessary thing and that is self-compassion.
Self-compassion is accepting your authentic self with kindness and deeper understanding , to accept yourself as a human-being, who is imperfect. You can consider self-compassion as a building block of self-love.
Studies show that people having self-compassion are more compassionate towards others as well, they don't find it hard to accept others for who they are.
People who are abundant in self-love report fewer episodes of depressive mood , they are less stressed out , having a more positive attitude towards life.
To love yourself unconditionally may seem difficult at first but by taking little steps you can break your old pattern of unloving behaviour. On your journey towards self-love you may fall back to your old pattern of harsh critical thinking towards yourself. Be gentle and kind if it happens. The key is not to give up.
There are few simple steps which can make you more compassionate and loving towards yourself which in turn make you more loving towards others as well. You can not share love with others if you are empty from inside, firstly you need to fill yourself up with love and then you can be loving with others too without resentment or expectations.
LET GO OF THE PAST :
Do you feel pain whenever you think of your past mistakes, heartache, failures. So why do you want to think about it then? Just learn the lesson and move on, you don't need to stand at this place forever. It's gone, its history now. You are not living in your past, your life is right here in this moment. Stop torturing yourself by reminiscing over past, stop analysing again and again . You have done exactly what you felt right at that moment. If you would have known that it would turn out to be a bad decision you would not have taken it in the first place. Forgive yourself.
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS:
You can give yourself a big favour by not comparing yourself with others. There is no comparison between you and others. You are a different individual, having different priorities, aims, challenges and sufferings. Why would you like to compare your life with someone who had not been through all those circumstances you had faced? You are unique. Don't try to blend in with the crowd. Discover your own path and stand out.
THANK YOURSELF FOR BEING YOUR BEST SELF:
Whenever our loved ones do any thing good for us ,we thank them as a gesture of appreciation then why don't you thank yourself for being your best self. Next time when you do something nice thank yourself. Being nice can be anything like preparing meal on time, helping someone in need, forgiving someone, taking care of kids. You are human and that's why you need appreciation to feel motivated and loved. Don't wait for others to appreciate you, do it yourself.
STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE:
Keep yourself at a distance from people giving you bad vibes. Be aware of your feelings when interacting with someone, do you feel drained, angry or agitated or simply feeling low. Is there any pattern whenever you meet a particular person you feel this way? If yes then no need to find a reason just stay away from that person. I know its difficult if that someone is from your family. But try to interact minimum. No need to get trapped in the drama created by them. Surround yourself with people who gives you positive vibes, you deserve a circle of supportive and understanding people who make you feel uplifted.
GET SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF:
It is not selfish if you get some time for yourself, it is necessary. You can't be your best self if you are feeling empty from inside. You can fill that emptiness by spending some time pursuing things which make you happy. You can read a book, or cook your favourite meal, watch your favourite show or hangout with your friends. We all need to take a break from our day to day task, so that we can return back with more energy and positive attitude.
MAKE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES:
You need to make healthy boundaries to avoid people taking advantage of you. No one wants to be treated like a doormat. Be nice but don't allow others to use you. If you find someone offensive to you stand up for yourself, you deserve to be treated respectfully. You are allowed to express your views and perspective. People treating others badly are reflecting weakness in their own self rather than in you. Avoid taking it personally but don't let them treat you less than you deserve.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH:
Take care of your health by eating healthy meal, our food choices have a great impact on our mood and overall fitness. I prefer a balanced diet over crash courses for dieting, make sure you are having all the nutrients; carbs, proteins, fats, vitamins and minerals. Make exercise a part of your daily routine. Walk, jog or hit the gym, move your body the way you like. Have a good sleep routine, go to bed early and wake up early. Having 7-9 hours of peaceful sleep is a must.
STOP BELIEVING EVERY THOUGHT YOU HAVE:
Do you ever notice when you are spending ample time in your head, judging your every move and action, you start feeling bad about yourself. What will happen if you judge your friend all the time, his each and every move? It might be possible he don't want to spend time with you. Then why are you treating yourself in a way you don't want to treat your friend? To be aware of your mistakes is a good thing, it helps you to improve but incessant criticism can lead to disappointment. You feel that you are not good enough. You don't feel comfortable with yourself. So challenge your negative thoughts by keeping a reality check, you will find most of them are not true. Thousands of thoughts pass through our mind in a day, each one of them can't be true. Stop believing your mind made fake world without any evidence from your real world. Treat yourself as you would like to treat a friend.
Try to include these simple acts of self-love in your life. I am saying without a doubt you will soon notice rise in your self-esteem and confidence. When you are full with love from inside you don't have to seek it outside. You become self-sufficient. There is nothing more attractive than a person who is happy with his own self. Stop waiting for others to love you and start loving yourself now.
