We all have fears, fear of uncertainty, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of pain, fear of not being loved by others. Most of these fears are mind made illusions ,they are not real but have the power to keep you stuck, holding you back from living a life you desire. They keep you from growing and fulfilling your dreams. They can shake your self-confidence by giving room to self-doubt. By listening to your inner critic non-stop chatter you increases your anxiety and get trapped in worrying habit. The more you dwell on the negative messages from your mind the more you start believing them, which in turn makes you more fearful, incapable of taking actions. your fears are telling you stories and within no time you find yourself doubting your talents and capabilities, you feel paralysed and stuck.
To break this detrimental cycle of unwanted thoughts , you need to take a step forward ,realizing that you don't need to believe each of your thought, it might feel uncomfortable to confront your fears but discomfort gives birth to personal growth.
To escape fear , you have to go through it,
not around.
....Richie Norton
GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE:
You can choose courage or you can choose
comfort , but you can't have both.
....Brene Brown
I know it seems scary to face something which you are trying so hard to avoid, you procrastinate things ,you give yourself excuses, you have multiple reasons of not moving forward and pursuing your goals. As soon as you try to step out of your comfort zone, a wall of insecurities and vulnerabilities block your path, you start doubting your talents and abilities, you second-guessing your strengths. Now lets face the truth ,if you believe your mind's negative self-fulfilling prophecy ,if you step back and resists discomfort of uncertainty ,you will not be able to live your desired life, no one else can push you out of your comfort zone, only you have the power to nip your fears in the bud as soon as they start surfacing. Its natural to feel vulnerable and fearful when you are going to try something new but never let that fear hinders your journey as courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to proceed inspite of fear.
To increase self-confidence and overcome fears you need to be persistent, its a life long journey ,you can't become confident overnight, so set little goals, do one thing everyday that scares you, these small steps add up to build your confidence. After overcoming your fears you feel sudden boost in your confidence.
The way to develop self-confidence is to do
the thing you fear.
....William Jennings Bryan
TAKE FAILURE AS A STEPPING STONE TOWARDS SUCCESS:
If you are one among those who have a tendency to take failures to heart, if you fear committing mistakes, if you can't stop your inner critic whenever you lose, then I feel compelled to tell you that this attitude of yours is the biggest reason you feel stuck.
Confidence comes not from always being right
but from not fearing to be wrong.
....Peter T. Mcintyre
Failure does not show your inadequacy, inaction does. If you are putting your efforts ,doing your best and even then don't get the expected outcome, there is nothing to fix, you can always learn from your experience, make necessary changes and do differently next time. But if you are not trying something out of fear of failure then it is something need to be fixed, ask yourself a few questions, why are you so harsh on yourself ? Why are you finding it difficult to accept your mistakes? Why are you not accepting yourself as human, and its natural for humans to fail before getting successful? Failures are nothing more than a feedback about your performance, they are the stepping stone towards success. Next time when you encounter failure, accept it as a necessary step towards your destination so you may get comfortable with failure, don't feel discouraged.
Don't let your fear of failure stop you from growing. Keep going, continue your journey inspite of all the setbacks and failures, they are there to teach you something.
BE A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF:
If you are constantly comparing yourself to others , you are going to fall in a trap of self-pity ,you can't be your best in everything you do, there are people who are doing better than you and of course there are many who are not doing as good as you are. The moment you start comparing yourself to others is the moment you lose confidence in yourself. By comparing your achievements with others you are building up an unnecessary pressure upon yourself ,you will think low of yourself, underestimate your capabilities so if you want to move forward just try to be a better version of yourself , don't do anything to be better than others but to be better than your previous self.
Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.
PURSUE YOUR PASSION:
There must be something you are passionate about or if you are not sure just notice what makes you happy and satisfied ,find a hobby or get creative. By following your passion you are showing the world your unique side, you are born to stand out don't try to blend in. Listen to your heart, make your own pathway, let yourself shine with your inborn talents. You will thank your future self for allowing yourself to take actions towards your desired life. In the end we only regret chances we didn't take. Replace fear of unknown with curiosity, don't expect validation from others ,do what you feel is right for you.
Thinking will not overcome fear but action will
...M. Clement Stone
RECALL PAST ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
Its easy to get in the turmoil when life gets rough, when you are about to give up, have a look at your past achievements, how you faced the challenges, how you got fruitful results of your struggles, what you have learned from your experiences which helped you to be a better person you are today.
You did your best in the past, managed to overcome your fears and you can do it now also, you need a little bit of self reassurance. Keep a reality check , how many times you actually failed when you were anticipating failure. What's the worst that could happen? How did you handle the worst case scenario in the past ? Be prepared for the worst but hope for the best.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU:
Its not necessary to know what others think of you but what you think of yourself, don't worry about the judgement of others and don't judge yourself either , never stop from taking actions because of the fear of what might people say. Inaction gives rise to fears and doubts ,action will boost your confidence. If you know who you are, what you are doing, why you are doing then criticism and judgement from outside don't matter much. You don't need approval of others in every thing you do.
There is a possibility that people may not be judging you as much as you are expecting them, they are surrounded with their own life issues ,mostly it is us who are judging ourselves and then projecting it onto others.
You wouldn't worry so much about what others
think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
...Eleanor Roosevelt
MAKE A LIST OF FIVE THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Take some time and make a list of five things you appreciate about yourself, you will be surprised to find out there is a lot to be grateful for. We often fail to focus on what we possess because we are too busy trying to get what we lack. We struggle to get what others are enjoying negating the fact that we are already having things to love and enjoy in our life. Its easy to get distracted by the achievements of others and its hard to acknowledge our own qualities when we are so much obsessed by the things which we are lacking. Take a break from your busy life, get out of your ungrateful mind, revisit your true self with a positive mind set then and only then you will be able to show gratitude for the blessings you have. You feel you have something to offer to the world. This is a sure way to boost your confidence instantly, you will not only feel confident but act confident also.
Don't let your fears of what could happen make nothing happen. Its okay to be scared but don't let this fear stopping you from living your life to the fullest, being afraid means you are about to do something courageous. Now what's your strategy to overcome fears? How will your make these tips part of your life? Start working today on your fears and live your life without regrets. All the best!
Do the thing you fear most and the death of
fear is certain.
...Mark Twain
