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What is Compassion?
Compassion comes from the Latin word, “compati” and means “suffer with.” Compassion is a concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others, characterized by the desire to take action to help the other person.
Or
Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another's suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.
The "Declaration Toward a Global Ethic" from the Parliament of the World's Religions (1993) proclaimed the Golden Rule ("We must treat others as we wish others to treat us") as the common principle for many religions.
Self-Compassion:
Living in a modern world in which perfectionism is often the norm rather than the exception, being compassionate with the self feels very unnatural to most.
Self-compassion is when you experience compassion for yourself, understand your feelings, and treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness that you would show to others. Rather than being critical of yourself, you accept yourself and your imperfections. It is to respect, love, protect, and care for yourself each day. It is to let go of judgment and criticism and replace it with patience and gratitude.
"If your compassion doesn't include yourself, it is incomplete."
Buddha
Compassion For Others:
When you experience compassion for other people, you feel their pain and this pain compels you to take action to do what you can to make the situation better.
"Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength."
Dalai Lama
Compassion fatigue:
People with a higher capacity to empathize with others may be at risk for "compassion fatigue", also called "secondary traumatic stress".
Examples of people at risk for compassion fatigue are those who spend significant time responding to information related to suffering. However, newer research by Singer and Ricard suggests that it is a lack of suitable distress tolerance that gets people fatigued from compassion activities.
Individuals at risk for compassion fatigue usually display these four key attributes: emotional exhaustion, diminished endurance and/or energy, declined empathic ability, and helplessness and/or hopelessness.
To show compassion towards others without experiencing compassion fatigue, self-compassion is necessary as you can't pour from an empty cup.
What is the physiology of compassion?
According to research, our body experiences various changes when we feel compassion
Our heart rate slows down.
Our body produces oxytocin, the “bonding hormone” and regions of the brain linked to empathy, caregiving, and feelings of pleasure light up, which often results in our wanting to approach and care for other people.
How To Practice Self-Compassion:
The 3 pillars of self-compassion:
As defined by Dr. Kristin Neff, self-compassion is comprised of three elements: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness.
Mindfulness:
Being aware of your feelings without letting them overpower you helps you stay compassionate with yourself.
Common humanity:
Common humanity refers to framing one's suffering as part of being human and as an experience that connects the self to others rather than isolating oneself from them. Recognizing that challenges are a part of the human experience.
Self-kindness:
Compassion starts with being gentle with yourself. Self-kindness is the act of being understanding and supportive toward yourself, especially when you are facing difficult times.
How To Show Compassion Towards Others:
The first step in being compassionate is to know how your words and actions can affect someone else's psychological well-being and understanding.
Speak with kindness:
It's about communicating thoughts and feelings in a way that respects the dignity and feelings of others.
Be a good listener:
Listen with sincerity and empathy. Do not interrupt or jump to conclusions.
Don't be judgmental and critical:
Don't be rude or inclined to look for and point out faults.
Apologize when you've made a mistake:
Always take responsibility for your actions and apologize whenever needed.
Motivate others:
Inspire them, appreciate them, and uplift them.
Help others:
Be helpful to others without expecting anything in return.
Be happy for someone else's success:
Be genuinely happy and find pleasure in another person's good fortune.
Say encouraging words:
Choose words that are uplifting and motivating.
Accept people for who they are:
When you accept people for who they are, you let them feel the way they want to feel, you let them be different and think differently from you.
Forgive people for making mistakes:
Let go of anger and resentment by forgiving people.
Show respect and care:
Be respectful, show respect and care with your words and behavior.
Appreciate others and express gratitude:
One of the simplest and most effective ways to show gratitude and appreciation is to say thank you.
Be patient:
Patience comes with practice, look for small opportunities to practice patience. Accept what's out of your control and be kind.
Offer support to others during hardship:
Be there for others during their difficult times.
Stay connected:
Call to catch up or send a quick text. Being present and spending quality time together can also cultivate a deeper emotional connection.
Compliment others:
Giving compliments creates a ripple of positivity. To come up with a genuine compliment, reflect on the other person's behavior and think about why you appreciate or admire them.
Helping them feel positive:
Share a good memory, recall their achievements, and highlight their positive personality traits to make them feel good about themselves.
Notice and support positive changes they make:
Your positive affirmation gives them the resolve to keep going despite the roadblocks that lay before them.
Help them to reduce stress:
Help them with stress coping skills, and give sincere advice if needed.
Respect other's boundaries:
When someone says no, they are setting a clear boundary. It's important to respect this, just as you would like others to respect your boundaries. Don't take it personally.
Give them hope:
Help them find the path to their dreams. Provide ideas and solutions to help them with their problems.
Genuine compassion is a deep, heartfelt concern for the well-being of others. It overcomes the human tendency toward selfishness.
"Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive."
Dalai Lama
All the best!
